This quarter I registered to take UU Polity, and I dropped in two weeks in. I found myself angry while I was doing the readings for class. I couldn't stop thinking of the questions that UUism didn't answer for me, couldn't quit thinking of the ways in which we have totally disconnected from our history (and how we're not willing to admit that), about how lonely I felt at GA this summer, about how I felt totally voiceless and community less in a huge group of people who were supposed to be "mine." I couldn't stop thinking about how disoriented I felt in the midst of this denomination.
So I told myself that I would take this quarter to think about things, to think about what I was gonna do and how I was gonna do it, to figure out where I fit in, if I fit in at all. And if I'm honest, I'll tell you I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The one great connection that I had with UUism was my experience as a youth. The ways in which Continential youth programs were so summarily ended, with manipulation of the culture of YRUU and youth culture in general, through grooming, through fear, through the desire to create structures which won't trouble the water . . .it seems to make clear to me that the UUA has little to no interest in empowering youth.
I'm the GAP, ya fuckers, that you want so desparately to be "minding." I am a UU raised, not a come-outer. I am totally alienated. I became alienated the moment I aged out.
If the UUA's only goal is to be a church for spiritual refugees, then they had damned well start owning that. Maybe they are . . .maybe dismanteling the youth program is a message: we do not intend to raise UU's. we do not intend to create multi-generational community. we do not understand well enough what we "are" except in negative theologies, and the positivity that came with youth communities scared us too much to handle.
Just be honest with me, Bill. Just be honest. Gini. Be fucking honest, UUA. You don't want me. you never wanted me. you don't want me and you don't want my friends, my comrades, my fellow young UU's. You want your complacent ex-Catholics. Not your homegrown radicals.
so, peace out. The lutherans have been awfully nice to me . . .
7 comments:
I love your writing...especially the piece on your father and "Forgive me for judging you"...thanks for sharing these stories. I connect to God through them--and through your writing--in ways I haven't experienced in a really long time.
Wow, this really sucks. I agree that there's totally not enough focus on raising/growing UUs, and that there's a gap, although in my church, it's teens. I'm not sure what the projection is--are they supposed to be disaffected & then come back to UUism as a refugee from...UUism? Not enough teen programs will mean that you're constantly a church of converts, and like you said, if that's what you want, fine. But it's not really the rich tapestry of experiences when you have a majority of one demographic. And it's a sad statement when folks who are hoping to be welcoming to all downplay the importance of youth. In our church, someone on the board made the suggestion that the children stay in their Spirit Play program through coffee hour, so they wouldnt' be running around bothering the adults. Wow. Way to be intergenerational.
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